When I was a kid, I carried beliefs that left me feeling small, guilty, and disconnected. I thought I had to perform for God, to get it all right, to earn my place. I carried that weight for years, and it nearly broke me.
The Performance Trap
I know most people mean well when they offer prayers or lay hands or tell me they're "waiting for the good report." I don't question their hearts. But the way it lands for me often feels less like presence and more like performance. As if someone else has a direct line to something I don't. That can feel dehumanizing, like my healing is their victory lap.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about why that feels so heavy. And I think it's because it reinforces an old, familiar story: that I'm not enough on my own. That my body, my will, my hope, my fight... they're secondary to someone else's ritual or certainty.
When the Old Stories Die
What I've discovered is that real faith, real healing, real transformation... none of it comes from formulas or performances. It begins when we let the old stories die. The stories of having to earn love. Of pretending to be perfect. Of giving away our power to others because we were taught we didn't deserve to hold it ourselves.
That dying is painful. It feels like loss. Like betrayal, even. But it's also the doorway to life.
When you stop performing, you start living. When you stop waiting for permission, you start creating. When you stop believing you're broken, you start remembering you were whole all along.
You Already Are
I don't expect everyone to see it this way. Some people find comfort in the rituals I've outgrown. And that's okay. We all walk different paths.
But if you've ever felt crushed under the weight of trying to be "good enough," maybe my story can remind you: you already are.
You don't need to earn your healing. You don't need to perform your worthiness. You don't need someone else's approval to claim your own life.
You're allowed to let the old stories die. You're allowed to stop carrying what was never yours to carry. You're allowed to be exactly who you are, right now, in this moment.
That's not rebellion. That's not arrogance. That's hope. Real, grounded, human hope.
And it's been here all along.
Ready to let the old stories die? You hold the power. You always have. But here's what matters: when you awaken to your own capacity, you become a mirror for others still trapped in old narratives. Share this with someone who needs to see their reflection differently. We don't rise alone. We rise by helping others recognize what was always theirs to claim.
Explore more at beyondhopeproject.com
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