Most people think identity is something you're born with.
But the truth, the one most of us discover the hard way, is that identity is something we build, piece by piece, as we try to survive the world.
We don't become who we are.
We become who we need to be… until we're finally strong enough to meet who we really are.
The Masks We Wear to Survive
Throughout my life, I played a lot of characters. Not because I wanted to, but because each one felt necessary at the time.
I played the bullied kid, the one who learned to shrink himself to stay safe.
I played the weird kid, the outsider who pretended not to care, even though he cared deeply.
And later, I played the brain cancer survivor, the character who finally forced me to take off every mask I'd used to protect myself.
None of those characters were truly me.
But I'm grateful for every single one of them.
They taught me things I couldn't have learned any other way.
What Each Character Taught Me
The bullied kid taught me how to listen to pain, mine and everyone else's.
The weird kid taught me how to love the outliers, because I was one.
And the survivor… he taught me how to love myself without performing for anyone, including myself.
These characters weren't mistakes.
They were classrooms.
They weren't identities.
They were instructions.
Each one carried a small piece of wisdom I would need later, especially now, as I write to the people who feel like they don't quite fit, the ones who are trying to survive their own lives and still believe something bigger is possible for them.
The Truth Underneath
That's the part people miss:
We're not meant to stay in the characters we play.
We're meant to learn from them, thank them, and move forward.
Because underneath every version we had to become… there's a quieter, steadier truth waiting for us.
Who we really are.
And maybe that's the whole arc of a human life:
We spend the first half becoming who we needed to be… and the second half un-becoming everything that isn't us.
Gratitude for the Roles We Played
When I look back now, I don't feel shame for the roles I played.
I feel gratitude.
Because those characters carried me until I could carry myself.
They protected me when I didn't know how.
They spoke for me when I didn't have a voice.
They survived for me when I didn't know if I could survive.
But I'm not them anymore.
And I don't need them anymore.
Your Reunion Awaits
And maybe you don't need your characters anymore either.
Maybe it's time to thank them… and step into the person who's been underneath the whole time.
This isn't reinvention.
This is reunion.
